It’s always a bit challenging to pour your soul out and the only satisfaction you will probably get, is knowing that you’ve been honest with yourself. That is more than enough.
Do you have a backup plan? Not necessarily one of the serious one, but, you know, that plan you threaten to apply when things get tough, like: a runaway plan or one of those emergency boxes you break the glass to use. I had one of those plans.
An old friend, Diana, whom I never had that proper catch up with, works for an airline company. You can feel the joy of living life through all of her photos, for years now, and it’s not just a social media illusion. Whenever things got tough for me, I ran to her account. I threatened (not entirely sure what I was threatening) I will leave everything and become a flight attendant and travel the world. I knew, of course, I will never make it happen, until one day.
One day it all got to me so badly, the stress, the guilt, the craving for life and some sort of inner-peace, that I took a step in that direction. I went on the Emirate’s website and read the requirements for becoming a flight attendant. It scared me that I felt a glimpse of genuine hope, breaking through my desperate thoughts. That little hope smacked me right in the face when one of the first big “no,nos” was the interdiction to have a visible tattoo. You see, it wasn’t just the interdiction itself, not just realizing my emergency plan of happiness was shattered, it was also about this giant company crushing my principles about the modern world and tattoos. It’s not like I was working for the army, and even if I was, why did they not want my perfectly naked watercolor ballerina? OH well…That sucked.
It hurt when my fake emergency plan got shattered for such shallow reasons. It made me realize how much that dream meant. I remembered how much a colleague, Rhian, managed to travel. The rest of my generation went home after uni, got random jobs to pay their overdrafts and clear their thoughts, or others, like me, went blindly to London to knock at “The Industry’s” door. Except her, she went travelling whilst working as a photographer. The first thing I ask her is about the company’s tattoo policy. She was kind enough to give me a lot of honest information and something about that conversation made me apply for the job then and there.
All this tattoo-dream job drama took less than 24 hours and I wake up messaging my friends about what I’ve just done. I was full of hope and questions but didn’t hear from the company for another month. I didn’t know what to think but that month gave me time to think if this is something I wanted. It was.
It was a month later, when the interview invitation was sent to me. I could travel the world, remain a photographer and have a tattoo (covered, but still there)….